Michael Rhing

Avatar Soapbox…

So yes.. I’m super happy that you are proud of the fact that you have successfully managed to have sex. I think your kids are great, as I’m sure you think my kid Charlie is super rad as well.

But, for the love of all that is holy, please don’t use your kid as your avatar (Profile Picture) on social networking sites. Or if you do, take time to be proud of the time you spend together, and put a picture of all of you in it.

Seriously, do you know how many <John Doe> there are <in that city, went to school there, work at, like something>? A lot. Sometimes even a metric shit ton. If you want me to be your friend, circle, follower, etc. sometimes I need more than just a name to go on. And even after we’re “Friends, Circlers, Followbergers” I still need a lil help, since it is entirely possible I know two <Steve Jones>’s or, don’t know your last name, you self centered bastard.

Seriously, I don’t know your damn kids. I Don’t know your favorite sports team. And damn it — I have no clue what cartoon character from your childhood you liked best — Shit, Sometimes I barely know you — But, I like what you have to say, or feel we should keep in touch.. So please, help me out here, and put up a recognizable avatar..

Acceptable Avatars:

1. Picture of you.
2. Picture of you 10 years ago before you became self conscious.
3. The only good picture of you in the last 5 years that you have awkwardly cropped someone out of.
4. Picture of you with other people, but less than 3 other people, preferable of other races so it is easy to pick you out.
5. Corporate Logo’s that you are well known for.

Unacceptable Avatars:

1. Pictures of your kids
2. Sports teams
3. Internet Meme’s
4. Anything Political or Religious.
5. Anything that someone asked you to change your avatar to in support of something stupid.
6. Pictures of you holding a cellphone in front of a mirror. 

TLDR; I’m happy you successfully had sex.

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